Guardians of Quietude

There is a dual nature to the mornings here, an impossible combination of stillness and frenetic activity; interdigitation more than combination, perhaps. It’s just after six a.m. on a Wednesday. I have forced myself out of bed so that I can spend some time writing before I make the brief but crowded commute to my office: four miles, eight poorly synchronized stoplights, and five stop signs, all while in constant near-collision stop-and-go proximity with a hoard of zombified fellow wage-slaves, most with their head angled downward toward a screen held just out of sight beneath the lower reach of the steering wheel. As a pot of coffee slowly fills on the kitchen counter, I slip the harness on the dog to take her out for her morning constitutional before I settle down in front of the computer—she has had a touchy stomach lately, and I don’t want to risk another mess on the living room carpet.

The sprawling apartment complex houses several hundred people, but at this hour there is very little activity, with the exception of an occasional car making its way up and out of the narrow, winding, speedbump-studded parking lot, its sole occupant off to join the zombified, cellphone-poking hoards to offer their diurnal blood-sacrifice to the machine. A high school girl passes by on her way to the bus stop, eyes glued to the screen in her hand, stooped over from the weight of her backpack and the steep uphill grade of the roadway; she walks past us as if the dog and I were two ornamental shrubs planted along the curb. An elderly man, perhaps only a few years older than me, emerges from a breezeway with his two dogs, both spaniels of some type, on retractable leashes. The dog and I avoid the spaniels, which have immediately started barking at us, and head toward the small off-leash area that was recently added to the complex by wrapping a seven-foot unstained cedar fence around a shady corner of grass near the back entrance.

It is on our way back from the dog area that the dual nature of the place, its alchemical blending of quiet and noise, starts to work on me. The man who was previously walking the two barking dogs now leans against his second story balcony rail, smoking a cigarette and staring blankly off into the distance in the direction of the highway as if he was a passenger on a cruise ship gazing out to sea while waiting for the onboard casino to open. Although it dominates the sonic space, the highway is not visible from here. The apartment complex is built into a hillside, one of a thousand infinitesimal bumps on the tips of the bent bony fingers of the Cascades as they curl down into Puget Sound, just over a mile in the opposite direction, and the land slopes steeply, hiding the highway behind a large natural berm dressed in blackberry brambles. The traffic noise still has an hour or so before it reaches its morning crescendo, although it has increased orders of magnitude from what only an hour ago was a lone eighteen-wheeler, a car with an exhaust system altered to be extra loud in order to mask its owner’s insecurities, and maybe one or two emergency vehicle sirens. I want to use the word drone to describe the traffic noise, but only because that has become a standard descriptor of such things—standard to the point of being cliché. It’s not a drone, though. The resonant mechanical growl of engines is not the dominant feature. Rather it’s an admixture of passing tires playing their perpetual circular game of catch and release with the oil-seasoned asphalt, and the air being pushed aside violently as the cars force their way through, more like the violent wind of an impending Midwestern storm against a row of tall poplar trees at the edge of a flat cornfield, steady and yet pushing past begrudging limbs in irregular gusts, or maybe the pulsing torrent of spring snowmelt over the boulder-littered course of a shallow mountain river. The mechanical engine noise is an afterthought, a throbbing background doppler-effect whine set against an acoustic surface built from motion itself. It is this sound of the traffic that dominates. And it will do so for the rest of the day, waxing and waning according to the circadian rhythms of commerce and industry, exploitation and destruction, the flowing and ebbing tide of a kind of desperation unique to the civilized, a desperation born of false hope, a frantic but ultimately futile effort to brace against the crushing weight of helplessness that defines a life of obligatory consumption.

But there is another sound, another layer to the acoustic space that runs a parallel cycle, starting early in the morning, well before dawn, reaching its peak rapidly with the emerging morning light, and then striking a slowly trailing sustain that reverberates until the last few traces of twilight fade into a moon-shadow and streetlamp-speckled quasi-darkness. It’s the birds. This time of year, late May, the bird chatter is at its most frantic. And it is hard to decide which truly dominates this morning’s acoustic space, the highway or the birds. The birds are more proximal and more omnidirectional, and there are calls from individual birds—the crows especially—that are loud enough to momentarily nullify the highway, eclipse it, supersede it. But there are gaps in the birdsong, short, punctate, and irregular intervals of local silence, spaces in between the avian pointillist soundscape where the pulsating but gapless highway noise resolves back into focus, returning instantly because it never really left, it was only momentarily overwritten.

The traffic noise and the bird chatter, however, do not compete. They seem to occupy distinctly different rooms, inhabit entirely separate strata in the overall sonic structure of the morning. Although they exist contemporaneously, simultaneously shaking my eardrums, they don’t belong together. A Fourier analysis would be able to parse out the separate contribution each makes to the complex timbre of the waveforms that move my basilar membranes, but there is something more than that. They are occupants of incommensurate perceptual realms, and my mind never confuses the two. A sonogram of a spoken sentence appears as an unbroken series of spikes and troughs on the page, and yet we hear distinctly separate words—and the words themselves are built of phonemes that register as unique and unmistakable despite the fact that they blur into each other seamlessly. It is something like this that individuates the cars from the birds.

I suspect that part of this is due to my evolutionary preparation for life embedded in a soundscape dominated by other beings rather than machines. The birdsong, for instance, is communicative, it is sound with purpose. And its purposes can be recognized as such—if not entirely understood—by a primate such as myself. I know not what the bird sounds are expressing, but I know that they express. The traffic sounds are epiphenomenal. They are not expressive. They have no purpose, there is no intention behind them, they do not make reference to something else. They are mere side effects. The traffic noise does not communicate anything. Or if it does, it is only to serve as an unconscious reminder of where I am—and where I am not.

But despite the birdcall and the highway and the large, low-flying airplane that is just now directly overhead, there is quiet here. Other than the man coughing heavily between drags on his morning cigarette while staring in the direction of the highway—really probably staring toward the light of the sun that has only now started to filter though the brambles on the hill—and me pulling my dog off of a juicy tidbit of garbage, a chicken bone scoured clean, voided of its marrow, and left in our path by a careless crow, it is quiet here. And quiet is the right word, although it makes no logical sense. That’s the impossible duality: the penetrating quiet that fills the morning in spite of the overcrowded acoustic space.

For a brief moment I wonder if maybe it is the relative lack of movement. Maybe I have mistaken stillness for quiet. Maybe I have conflated the visual with the sonic. Other than me and the dog and the occasional car leaving the parking lot and the man with his barking spaniels and the high school girl, there has been very little that has moved. I look to the trees and see that they are also still, there is almost no wind at all and even the broad, triangular leaves of the large cottonwood that overhangs the corner of the dog area barely flex in what little breeze happens to find them. But that’s not it. There is movement here. And stillness as well. And yet the quiet is pervasive. Despite the constant noise, there is a peacefulness—not silence, not absence, but a positive calmness, a quietude. On the surface it doesn’t seem to make any sense. It’s as if alongside the furious avian chatter and enwrapping the hectic whirring and grinding of the highway, there is an additional something, a nullifying presence, a continual injection of calm into the storm. I have been in carefully-engineered music halls, where distance becomes distorted to the point of near elimination, where an on-stage whisper can be heard from the farthest balcony seat as if it was spoken directly to your ears without intervening space, echoless, without any lingering trace. The sound here has something of the same quality, and it takes only a few moments to track its source.

Trees.

Like singing in the shower, where the splashing streams of water neutralize the errant notes and stray overtones, the trees are buffing off the rough edges and absorbing the dissonant tones before they can propagate, cushioning the pulse of the city traffic and dampening the shrill death howl of the passenger jet, buffering the perpetual mechanical scream of civilization while, at the same time, somehow foregrounding the birdcall, accentuating the pauses, the brief boundaries of silence between individual notes. There are trees here, everywhere, and it is their doing. They are the keepers of the morning quiet, the guardians of quietude.

Retsina

The dog rests her head on my lap and leans her bony jaw into a tender layer of muscle in the central portion of my upper thigh, sending a brief twinge the full length of my leg. I set my glass of retsina on the porch rail beside me, flinching sharply as a bolt of sunlight ricochets an angled course through the golden liquid, an echo of the nerve twinge in my leg. Retsina is a Greek wine with a distinctive—some would say overwhelming—flavor of pine, a flavor that betrays an ancient nostalgia for a time when wine was stored in amphorae sealed with resin from Aleppo pines. It’s what might be called an acquired taste, although I was hooked by the very first glass.

It is exceedingly unlikely that there are any Aleppo pines nearby; they are indigenous to the Mediterranean, and poorly suited for an ornamental backyard landscape, especially here in the Pacific Northwest, with its embarrassment of riches of native evergreen species. The closest tree to where I sit now is just past the far end of the porch rail that supports my glass, a tortured and hideously asymmetric blue spruce, completely denuded of branches on one side, with its shaved trunk less than three feet directly outside the window of the spare room in our second-floor apartment. In the last few years it was able to grow past the third-story roofline, and it has resumed its conical habit—an iconic Christmas-tree shape—for the top few feet. Scar tissue encrusted with bulbous globs of glassy pitch, frozen in mid drip, mark spots where immature limbs were carelessly pruned too close to the main trunk; and for a moment I imagine the rarified aromatic qualities of a wine poured from amphorae sealed with blue spruce resin.

Retsina is somewhat hard to find, not something that you would typically run into in the wine isle of the local big-chain supermarket. I first learned of it from song lyrics more than two decades before I had the opportunity to taste it. It makes a brief appearance in Aja, a popular Steely Dan album released when I was in high school. The second track on side two of the original vinyl version of Aja is titled “Home at Last,” and evokes imagery from the Homeric tale of Odysseus’ epic journey home:

Who wrote that tired sea song

Set on this peaceful shore

You think you’ve heard this one before

Steely Dan songs frequently include subtle and cerebral irony, which is why I have always been a fan. In the chorus of “Home at Last,” for example, the protagonist sings:

The danger on the rocks has surely passed

Yet I remain tied to the mast

Could it be that I have found my home at last?

Home at last

The idea here—or, probably better to say my interpretation of the idea here—is that we sometimes end up in uncomfortable circumstances that we have created ourselves, perhaps out of desperation, and then get stuck there, feeling trapped, caught in the inertia of the status quo, unable to extract ourselves from our own protective emotional resin. Even when we have run out of excuses, and even in the clear presence of far better alternatives, we remain “tied to the mast.” It’s a compelling truth that is paradigmatic of several extended periods of my own life. In the second verse of “Home at Last,” there is an allusion to the year Odysseus spent with Circe, the goddess-enchantress who turned his men into swine and then lured him into her bed chamber with food and wine; but most likely it’s an oblique reference to one of the song writer’s own failed love relationships:

She pours the smooth retsina

She keeps me safe and warm

It’s just the calm before the storm

Call in my reservation

So long hey thanks my friend

I guess I’ll try my luck again

Smooth retsina. When I stumbled upon retsina in a wine shop just south of Gary, Indiana, an area, it turns out, with a sizeable local Greek population, I bought a bottle of each of the three varieties on the shelf. The first sip was a shock. Although it has a warm and exceptionally satisfying finish, smooth is not an adjective I would use. In fact, perhaps the opposite of smooth; astringent, bracing, sharp like the sliver of refracted sunlight that sliced through the glass and into my unshielded retinas. The effect is habit-forming.

Aja remains one of my favorite albums to this day. Aja is also the name of the dog whose head rests heavily against my thigh. The dog wasn’t named after the album, nor is her name pronounced the same—the album is pronounced like the continent, for the dog the initial A is pushed with a relaxed tongue and open throat, as in awesome. Aja, the dog, was named after a Yoruba goddess, the goddess of the forest and protector of forest animals. It was my wife’s idea, and likely related to our regular excursions to the many nearby heavily forested hiking trails—so different from the agriculture-dominated wetland prairie and oak savanna of Northwest Indiana, where I was tied to the mast for over a third of my life.

It turns out there are some interesting parallels between Circe, the Greek goddess-enchantress, and pourer of smooth retsina, and Aja, the Yoruba forest protector. Circe lives in a mansion surrounded by a dense forest, and she has extensive knowledge of herbs and potions, which, in combination with a magic staff, she used to turn Odysseus’ men into animals, and would have done so with Odysseus himself if he wasn’t forewarned. Aja is also a master of potions, it turns out, and she is credited with having taught the original herbal healers their craft. In my limited research, I haven’t come across any tales of her turning men into swine, but I suspect, from what I’ve read, that she has the power to do so should the situation warrant: she is an Oresha, a subordinate spirit-being manifesting specific facets or characteristics of the divine.

Aja, the canid with her head pressed into my lap, is not a goddess. Nor does she possess any special skill with magical herbal potions, at least as far as I can tell. She is a medium sized dog, lean and muscular, with short fur that, depending on the light, ranges from deep mahogany to rich honey, with a warm quality not unlike the retsina in my glass, returned now to my hand momentarily for a long, deep draught. She’s a Black Mouth Curr, perhaps, although her actual pedigree is a mystery; she’s a rescue dog from the shelter just up the road, and an import from Texas, a place about as far from the island of Aeaea as it is possible to get, and only slightly farther from Yorubaland. I give the golden rolls of skin and fur on her neck a gentle nuzzle with my fingertips, finish my glass, rest my eyes on the dusty gray-green needled surface of the blue spruce, and wonder at my good fortune as the last residual traces of retsina fade into memory.

I know this super highway

This bright familiar sun

I guess that I’m the lucky one